It Still Rains In Hell
by SilyBeautifulOversensitiveGirl
Summary: ONESHOT.This is about the inncident that causes Charlie to push for Bella to go to Florida after months of her being miserable and zombie like. It's basically just a look in Bella's head as she grieves for Edward.


Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, luckily Stephenie Meyer does or you'd all get just a bunch of oneshots!

A/N: Ok, this is my first attempt at writing a serious FF, so try not to be too harsh….

It Still Rains In Hell

Bella grabbed her back pack from the table. It slipped from her grasp and fell with a thud on her foot. She silently felt the sharp pain of her history text book smacking her toe. She picked it back up mutely and went outside. She was going to drive to the crummy town library to study. She couldn't stay in the house _now. _Not After _that. _

She had sat down on the couch and accidently hit the remote. The TV flashed to life. Bella stared blankly at it, as if she had never seen a TV before. Well, it had been 4 and a half months since she'd turned it on. And in that split second it took for her to react she saw part of a commercial. A Volvo commercial. It wasn't _his _car model or even _his_ color, but it was a _Volvo_. She slammed the TV off. The announcer's voice died away, but the words hung in the air ringing in her ears. She sat perfectly still, barley breathing. It had been so long since she had let herself feel. Happiness, fear, sadness, anxiety anything. Now the last three flooded her being. That's when she had to leave.

As Bella threw her back pack in the truck rain suddenly exploded from the heavy gray clouds. She just stood there. Rain poured over her like tears. Drenching her in sadness. A great sadness, an uncontrollable sadness. The sharp ice cold drops penetrated her sweater, soaking her skin. Every drop was like liquid ice. And she loved it. Bella had an urge to do something she had never even considered before. She wanted to be part of it, of the mind numbing cold tears from the sky. She walked to the middle of the lawn and lay down in the grass, now mud. The rain poured over her, engulfed her. She felt herself sinking into the ground slightly. She prayed it would swallow her whole. Days passed. Or maybe only minutes. The earth didn't swallow her. She sighed, laying in the mud. Just laying. She left her mind, her thoughts, her shattered heart in the rain, which was now drying up quickly. She was just a body, an empty shell in an empty world.

"Bella?" a frightened voice called out to her in the dark. The dark. How long had she been out here? The mud had hardened and was encrusted to her back and her hair. She sat up gaining consciousness. She had been so exhausted from her tortured sleep she had drifted on the hard cold ground. The thought stuck her strangely funny. She couldn't sleep in a warm bed, but when she accidently fell asleep in the mud, the nightmares didn't come. She let out a hollow laugh.

"Bella!?" the voice was more panicked.

"Here, dad." She croaked her throat dry.

Charlie ran over.

"Bel– What are you doing out here?" he asked incredulously.

"I...uhh" what fell asleep?

Charlie was looking at her very strangely.

"I was just sitting out here, I didn't realize it was so muddy" she lamely explained.

"Bella, your covered in mud…."

She just shrugged her face blank. Charlie looked extremely concerned. Bella knew she had to say something for his sake.

"I lost track of the time, I'm fine dad. I'm going to go take a shower." she said getting up.

She wondered how fake her smile looked. Her face could barely remember how to make one.

Charlie just nodded.

The nightmares came, like they always did. She expected them, knew they were coming, and knew what was going to happen before they even began. Yet it still horrified her till the very end. Because maybe, secretly, her subconscious wished, hoped, even believed that maybe, just maybe it wouldn't end that way again. That _he_ wouldn't leave again. He always did. As she lay awake she heard Charlie pacing. It was three in the morning. Regret hit her hard for doing this to her dad. But she couldn't help it, couldn't change. This is who she was. Dead. Without a heart to keep her alive, without a soul to keep her hoping. Those things had all left with _him._

Sometimes, a thought in the back of her head told her he might come back. She quickly silenced the ridiculous notion.. The thought was hope. And hope was poison. Yet, she never left Forks when the chance arrived. She said so she wouldn't forget which was true, but also because of the small delicate hope that lingered on the side of her mind that was locked away, even from her. She just couldn't leave.

The next morning the talk came


End file.
